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Cold ):

I hate coldness.
It hasn't been since cold since the fucking fifth grade!!
I can't even play WoW without freezing my fingers off. -.-
The only good thing about this weather is what is does for my hair :3
Interesting Fact: My Christmas gifts consisted off a shitload of sketching supplies, Halo ODST, a digital camera picture printer thingy, PJ's, Rhythm Heaven for DS (cutest game evaar :3), and two tees. :P
Continuing with my rambling, I hope I get better at  trumpet soon.
I got enough money for a silent mute and started using it a couple days ago.
So far I still sound like crap.
Alex says it takes a while..
I only have 5 months before Jazz Band auditions >_______>"

Oh well.

I HATE my geometry class.
It's like nobody knows what the FUCK numbers are.
They're all so stupid.
So...so stupid.


Well that's basically it.
Peace (:

thanks again Sara for getting me a new Californication. :'3 <3


Ahhh headache...

Thos past semseter has been a long one.
My grades were fine.
One C.
Well that's okay I guess.
I honestly haven't been so busy in my entire life.
I can't wait to move out...
or at least get a car.
I can't stand my house anymore.

Band this year is pretty, well, gay.
Idk how else to put it haha.
I already gave up on the idea that we're gonna win anything anymore.
I just have to start focusing on myself so that I can
get somewhere with m skills.
Screw everyone else lol.

If I could kill people with my mind...
no one would survive lol. :P
I would only kill one person.
Then just scare the shit out of everyone else.
It's never failed me before.

Currently addicted to;

Lake Party?

I've heard of them in movies, but never been to one.

Well Zach's shindig wasn't really a "Lake Party" per se.
Just a party with a lake available lol.
Only Zach, Sam, Sara, and me actually suited up to swim in it, and only me and Zach
swam in the deep end. :P
I myself don't have any pictures, though I think Crystal does lol.
The food was sweet. Pizza, a bowl of skittles, chips n' dip, chocolate fountain, ice tea fountain,
cookies, nuts, and my chicken paste samiches. xDD
As I recall, the attendees were;
Sara, Danny, Sam, Carlos, Rosa, Eli, Superasian, two freshmen, not including Eddie xD, Louis, Crystal, and of course Zach.
Matt or Jeff didn't show up cuz they were to sparked up to know who the fuck they were lol. :|
But we still had fun without them lol. :P
Sam was putting some moves on Zach though. We watched Beowulf while waiting for our parents to show up,
and she was  "tired" and "fell asleep" on Zach's "junk". xD
She had her hand on his bare chest and errrthang. It was nasty. xD
All this while she's still with that ugly ass Sebastian kid. xD
But I had Carlos to crack crazy jokes to entertain me lol. x3
That guy is too fucking cool.
I t was a cool party. :)

It was also a good last day of BC. :D
We added some gay ass visuals to the show, but we actually made that fat bastard Rivero proud lol.
Ashley wasn't there though. D':
For the last two days actually...WTF HASH?! D'x
Water balloon fight for the LULZ.
I got Matt good twice. xD
Five people went after William, and Mr. Jenkins got cold ass water dumped on him from the cooler,
as well as Jeffery did. The two tallest guys got beat for a day haha. xD
I had a good year at Band Camp. :)
Lert's just hope the same goes for the rest of the year. >_<


Blood, Sweat and Tears.

Ahhh, good times.
I had a good two weeks. :)
I haven't been posting anything because I've been coming home completely mentally and pyshically exhausted lol.
But I guess it was worth it. :3
Let's get started shall we?

Monday: Good first day, we got some work done. :) Already hating the freshmen though lol. -__-

Tuesday: Hasn't rained yet. Already getting a major tan -.-

Wednesday: Good shit. getting a long with everyone. Having good times.

Thursday: Starting to bond with Matt and Jeff more. :D Everyone else to. That Eddie kid is still the lulz. xD

Friday: Amazing day. I had so much fun. And we got a lot done for the first week, already got the second song down.
That's a lot considering we still didn't even know our music by this time last year. xD

Monday: New week, more sets, more music, more fun haha.

Tuesday: I got the tan of my life. I'm going to end up a different race by the end of this week. Ashley's birthday! :DD
Everyone else just switched genders lol. xD

Sweet times with Matt and Jeff again. I guess we cool now lol. He's been turning me on to Rush. They're purtty good too lol. Hilarious time in sectionals. xD
Tacky day was a fail lol. Ivan in boxers is never a good idea lolz. Dx

Thursday (today): FUNNY SHIT IN SECTIONALS. XD Got a video clip of it lmaoooo. I hope we have Villas for along time man.
Other than that, we got all our sets down. I'm proud of ourselves. :D

Tomorrow should be fun,. Party at Zach's house!! lol. xD
This has been the funnest party of my summer. :)



Yaaaaaaaaaaaay first day of Band Camp! :D

It was fun. Better than I expected actually.
We just did simple drills and spent most of the day inside learning the music
since it's tradition to slack off the entire summer and not look at the music until the last week. xD
Hopefully we'll learn everything by the end of next week.
I'm looking forward to this year. It's our last year with some
really talented people, also with some colorful characters. :'3
It was good to see everyone. :)
Jeff was extra friendly today. ;D
I'm gonna try to enjoy myself this year. I hope all goes well
and the drama is put to a minimum.
I hope I get to be an officer too.
Collar told me I seemed more mature than last year. :DDDD
There was one freshmen who was an EXACT replica of Alan.
I'm still sticking to my anit-freshmen plan, but
this one seems special. :3 (Alan clone!! <3)
Plus Jeff seems to approve of him lol.
Well I just hope for the best and that I have strength to deal with certain people.
Whatever happens, I'll try to see the best in it.

I'll be sure to keep you updated Sara, since Ashley will participate in the activities tomorrow lol.


Writer's Block: Not So Genius

Which modern invention do you think the world would be better off without?

The Computer/Internet.
It just made us more lazy and more insensitive lmao.
We don't treasure important values anymore.
Things like true friends, love, family, peace, and happiness.
It's all gone now.

I hung out with Ashley (and other peeps lol)  today.
I miss my fraaans. <3
I should go out more.
I liked that talk we had about men Ashley.
We should talk more about it later.
;D xD

I was supposed to post something important
but I'm going to bed soon. =w=
Haircut pic coming soon!


Writer's Block: Dream Vacations

What vacations would you most like to take in the next five years?
Five years...
that's a two years after graduation, as we are now sophomores lawl.
Well if I'm not at UM or whatever collage I get into, I'll probably making the song
"Road Trippin'" a reality, and getting lost in the U.S.A. Either that or Norway. (Pat ;D)
Anyone is welcome to tag along, as Erika has already volunteered. :3
I like to travel, and see new places. That's why I don't want kids.
They'll be a MAJOR hassle to my "dream life". Lawl.
I was supposed to talk about something important...

*about an hour later*

I remembered.
I realized I need to have some "Closure" talks with some people.
People I feel like I have unresolved issues with.
I already have a couple in mind.
I'm also free to suggestions lol. >.>
I probably won't get to do any of it until school/band camp starts though. >_>

Another thing I would like to point out is, well, John.
I don't exactly remember when it ended, but it feels like forever.
And this summer has been going by faster. o_o
I don't think I'll know for sure about how I feel about it until I see him in person.
So band camp might me a little, well, awkward hehe. ^^
I kinda hope he doesn't go to Rosa's birthday thing.
I know it's going to make things worse for me if he does.
Plus, he always told me how he hated anything to do with water or taking off you shirt (lol)
which btw is the real reason why he didn't go to your party Sara. -___-
(besides him not getting along with you lol [asshole])
Anyway, he is one of the people I plan to have a little talk with.
I need to get some things straight...
I honestly think he's forgotten about me, and has moved on. =/
I think I won't get into any kind of relationship unless the guy proves to me
he seriously wants to be with me, and completely sure he's ready to be in such a relationship.

So as Ashley suggested, he has to come to me. :P

Well you won't hear about him for a while I promise. :3

In other news, that is if you're still reading, I might come back to school with a
slightly different hairstyle, unless you see me earlier lawl.
I might talking about William in my next post.
That guy still annoys me, but if he meant what he told me about promising to change,
then he might have a slight chance to earn back my trust.
I still don't trust him with big stuff, until he proves to me he's worth the trouble.



What do you think we'll be wearing twenty years from now?
80's/60's style, and lots of neon lmao.

Hey guys!!
Sara, as she is my muse, has inspiired me to put up a video of my own favorite anime moment.
Except that this video is actually fan-based, meaning fans made it up lol,
yet it is still very dear to me, as it has brought me much laughter, and still does
even after 4 years since i first dicovered it. And now I want to share it with you,
and i hope it brings you as much joy as it has brought me. <3

P.S ; I just discovered as i found these that there's more parts to it since I last saw it, as they were only these two back then lol. I'll put those up later if you like these. xD


Part II



John did leave me for someone else.
And yes, it's the first person you'de expect.
Isn't it funny how life can make you feel like you can take on
the toughest of forces, yet turn on you and make you feel
like the saddest sack of shit in the world?

I don't think I'll ever love again...
and i

You've Probably Heard The News

Me and John are, well over.
Details are restricted to the few friends I have.
This entry is about how I felt about the situation, so if you don't like
ranting or stupid teenage hormones, I suggest you stop right here..

I could hear and feel my heart breaking.
He said had a common reason.
He couldn't deal with being in a relationship right now
with all the stuff he had going on in his life.
He really stressed on how NOW is not the right time, or I'm not ready NOW.
In my opinion, the only reason for a break up is a lose of interest.
Other than that I don't see any other reason.
You might think cheating or abuse are some reasons, but they're the same thing.
You lose interest in someone who cheats on you or someone who abuses you.
Basically the feelings are gone. At leas the romantic ones.
I'm not saying I know for sure this is the real reason why he did it, but what
I think about break ups.
I know I did it because I lost interest.
And of course, as every girl fears the most,
I worried it was because there was someone else.
I mean isn't that always the case?
But I thought about it, and I knew John was a better person.
Maybe he's confused.
I don't know..
Maybe this is my way of trying to make myself feel better, since I haven't
really talked or seen to anyone at all these past  weeks.
I was told maybe it was the issue of not seeing each other often.
Well, he's always busy, and I live in butt fuck Egypt, so we knew what we
were getting ourselves into.
Maybe he didn't realize how difficult it could be, and ended it.
But I don't want to believe that.
He's stronger than that,  from what I know.
I loved him, and was in love with him.
It's still seems like a nightmare, and that I'll wake up,
still as his girlfriend...
But I haven't, and it breaks my hard.
I've never felt such pain in my entire life.
Such horrible feelings...
I've considered drugs again, but thought again, and decided to say No...
Somehow I think it's my fault, as always...
I'm scared that this is it forever, and that we'll never have a chance again.
It's happened before, so it haunts me...
and doesn't let me sleep.
I've been crying myself to sleep.
I know it sounds overly dramatic, but it's true.
I still can't grasp the thought of us not being together.
He was the one.
I thought this was gonna be the most amazing experience of my life.
And it was was...
I don't regret anything.
I loved love him.
I won't get over him.
I'll still have this feelings in my heart.
He'll always make me feel like the only girl in the world...
I love him...
No one will ever change that.
I'll wait for him, despite of what he asked.
Judge me and call me what you want,
this is what I feel.
I won't give up on the first real love that I have ever had in my life.
I'll sacrifice anything to be with him again.
But if he happens to not return my feelings....

Then I'll be happy with being just friends.
Best friends.
I'll continue to love him  though, and hide away my feelings.
As long as he's happy...
I'm happy...
I'll be happy for him.
Even if it tears every part of my heart...
and leaves it to dust.
He will always hold that special place, to one closest to it.
I'll always love him.
No matter what...

I might edit this later.
If you have any concerns...you know how to contact me...